Books, Brains and Hallelujahs

I've been having some real trouble concentrating lately.  I've started at least half a dozen books but can't seem to get into them, even though three are authors I love and usually dive right in the minute their books are published.  It's frustrating and unnerving.

Books have sustained me through highs and lows, ups and downs, single and coupled.  They have always been my escape, transporting me outside myself to new worlds and adventures.  When I can't read, I feel lost, like half of me is missing.

This morning I happened across an article addressing this weirdness.  As the months go by and we're bombarded with fear and anxiety over the political turmoil, a virus sweeping out of control, unemployment...more and more people are feeling exactly as I am: they can't read anymore, nothing holds their attention, concentration is a thing of the past.

Well, wow.  I was very relieved to find I wasn't losing the plot...or if I was, at least there were tons of other people losing theirs too.

Turns out, we're desperately trying to get through an unprecedented period in time where we basically have zero control over current events.  "We're trying to resolve an uncertainty that is unresolvable," according to the article. It's not only an untenable situation, but an impossible one, hence the anxiety and stress that make our brains struggle to focus, to find some way to make sense of things, to just bloody concentrate.

Unfortunately, knowing this doesn't change anything, at least for me.  No matter how hard I try, the outside turmoil seeps in, shredding my ability to stick with the story, hold a thought, remember why I went into a room.  Frustrating as hell.

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I wrote the above a few days ago, but had to stop and do other stuff, leaving this post hanging and unfinished.  Ironic that I couldn't finish writing whilst talking about not being able to concentrate on reading.

However, glory hallelujah and all that, yesterday Trump was finally pressured into acknowledging Biden's win--even though he's going to continue his litigation into unsubstantiated voter fraud to overturn the election that he insists he's won.  I don't care.  He can carry on, making an ass of himself all day long.  The facts speak for themselves and finally, after four very long years of greed, graft and shocking mental absurdity...he's done for.

There's also hope on the virus front with a vaccine coming sooner, rather than later.  Another hallelujah, with a happy dance thrown in for good measure.

[Deep sigh]

I'm looking forward this evening to sitting down and reading.  I think I'm going to start small, ease into it maybe with poetry or some short stories. No sense in overtaxing my brain at this point, but I'm eager to once again find solace by escaping into a book...